To begin with, I have quite the colorful dating history. I have dated the entire range of the Loser Spectrum, from Criminals to Sexual Deviants. Now, mind you, I don't seek out the relationship-challenged. I think they hone in on me, like I have a douche bag beacon.
It's not as though I "go out to meet men." I go out, yes, every time I leave my apartment as a matter of fact. Men just happen to graze out in the open. In DC you can't turn around without bumping into a few trying to look down your shirt. I encounter everything from the homely to the horny just walking to the drugstore.
It's not like I sit alone scantily clad in seedy bars, seeking someone. I meet them in the grocery stores, at friends' parties, and through work.
They hide in sheep's clothing, appearing like normal, stable, educated, decent individuals. But once the dating commences, they let the crazy out of the bag. Suddenly the world evolves around them, and being an ambitious, independent woman, myself...I don't mind. I overlook that they have bizzare excuses and selfish tendencies, as I am not "needy." Of course they have "work dinners" and "guy time." More often than not this translates to "cheating" and "parole hearings."
Upon moving to the city, I met a great guy. And by great, I mean an honest, funny guy who shared a lot of my interests. I actually thought I had found someone special.
Upon moving to the city, I met a great guy. And by great, I mean an honest, funny guy who shared a lot of my interests. I actually thought I had found someone special.
Of course, upon further inspection I found out that he lives with his parents and his jobless. Over the past several months I can conclude that his ambition is a bit lacking because he hasn't even found a position at Taco Bell. He's someone "special" alright. Don't get me wrong, I was OK with dinner dates off of the dollar menu and walking to save on Metro fare. But things went downhill when a romantic evening was watching movies on the couch with his Mom and Dad (his Dad totally hogged the popcorn).
The Underachiever was bad, but what ended the relationship was that he quickly turned into the Egomaniac. I really should have known better, I mean after all, he grew a goatee. You can't ever trust a guy with a goatee. Face pubes are non-negotiable. I only went to his bedroom after things were getting hot and heavy (no, Mom and Dad were not home!), so I was a little too preoccupied to notice that the only framed photo in his bedroom was of...himself.
"For every 100 single women in Washington, there are only 93.4 men. That's just over nine-tenths of a man for every woman." -WashPost
The Underachiever was bad, but what ended the relationship was that he quickly turned into the Egomaniac. I really should have known better, I mean after all, he grew a goatee. You can't ever trust a guy with a goatee. Face pubes are non-negotiable. I only went to his bedroom after things were getting hot and heavy (no, Mom and Dad were not home!), so I was a little too preoccupied to notice that the only framed photo in his bedroom was of...himself.
Moreover, upon the removal of his shirt, I found out that he had tattoos all over...of his NAME. Seriously, Buddy? Seriously?!
So many degenerates, so little time...
So many degenerates, so little time...
"For every 100 single women in Washington, there are only 93.4 men. That's just over nine-tenths of a man for every woman." -WashPost
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